So this morning, I wrote down my goals all over my calendar. Everything will get done by the deadlines this time. I will be 110 pounds by November 20th. I'll be fucking hot. And with so much enthusiasm this morning, I'm going to start the week with a fast. Sound good everyone? This is the perfect opportunity as well, because my boyfriend is sick. I won't have to hide my non-eating habits while I'm around him, and I won't have to lie to get out of eating food. It's perfect.

My only worry is Tuesday. I'm taking my road test, to get my license. I think fasting will be a good thing, because I can manage to remain calm when my metabolism is like... shut off. But the lack of food makes me even less concentrated than I already am. Which is bad. I think I have a tiny case of ADD. Oh well. Regardless, that's tomorrow, and I'm debating eating before hand. Well, whenever the answer comes to me, I'll post it. For now it's undecided.

I'm definitely one of the lucky teenagers, who's mom is so laid back. I honestly say to her, "Mom, I'm not eating this week. I'm fasting." And she seriously won't by me food until I tell her otherwise. I've convinced her that not eating is for health purposes, that fasting is supposed to be major healthy. I feel bad in a way for lying, but hey, she bought it.

I really hate the first day of fasting. It never feels as good as the other days. It's not till like... the second day where you really start to feel empty. I hate feeling like I still have food in my stomach. It makes me feel so fat, so heavy, so pulled down. I love having a tiny little stomach when there's nothing in it. It's amazing. I can't wait to be 110 pounds. I don't think I've ever come close to a size zero in my life - I've always been fat! - but I will get there this time.

I'm on my way to a size zero, and it's gonna be hot.