Even with so much time on my hands, I find it really hard to muster up any sort of motivation to write anything. I have so much to say, yet, I don't feel I should blog them. I know blogging would help, but my posts seem to just get fewer and fewer.

I've been considering counseling. Mostly for depression, I think. Although, my mood swings and thoughts were fine until I went back on birth control, which caused problems like this is the past. So I have plans of going off of it again for a while and see how things go. I want to be a better, happier, more energetic person for everyone. And I'm really tired of feeling bad for myself over nothing. It's just not worth it to be sad. I don't have anything to be sad over. I mean, sure, I have problems like everyone else. My family can be kind of disfunctional at times. I get upset over people and things and that's normal, everyone does. But I have so much to be thankful for. I have an amazing boyfriend, who would do anything in the world for me. I have good friends, and even though we don't spend as much time together as we used to do, I know I'm still important to all of them. I have my pets, my kitten and my puppy, both of which make me smile (and piss me off hahah) on a daily basis. And even though I'm not happy with my weight right now, I have still changed my life so much. Over the course of two and a half years I have lost 60 pounds. That is a feat in itself that anyone would be proud of, and would be crazy not to be.

So, one more week of the birth control and I'm done with it. If my depression doesn't get better, then I'm going to talk to my mom about counseling. I think it would really help.

Oh, and my new years resolution? I don't think I've mentioned it. No more fasting. No more binging. I'm going to start eating healthily, and exercising. And, I don't think I've said the word fat in over a week and a half. Damn.