I wish I had more time to blog. I feel like I'm just so busy all the damn time. I guess that's not a bad thing, I'd rather have lots to do than sit home alone all day. But sometimes it'd be nice just to post a blog a little more than every couple days. Then again, I'm not really sure what the point of posting is because I haven't a single follower yet. Hahah. Well, I'm sure they'll come in time.

So how's the eating, everyone? I know I said I was planning on starting my fast two days ago but that was a bust. I started today because I kept putting it off and I needed to finish off the food mom bought the week prior. So in a way I just binged like crazy just to get it all out of the way. Not to mention I went out to eat almost every day this week with my boyfriend, and then yesterday went to Applebees with my mom. I ate a huge plate of fried shrimp, fries, and even an appetizer of onion rings. I felt so sick but it was so good. Sometimes I wonder why I bother eating it because honestly, the taste really isn't worth it. It's good, but it's not worth it.

I love the feeling of fasting. I know I've said it so many times but it's such a high to not have anything in your body. The shakiness of the first day makes me feel so energetic, like I can't sit still. Aside from being sleepy the first day as well, it all feels so good. The second and third days get so much better. Mmmmm... I'm so glad I started a fast again. This time, I'm not going to binge my weight back. I keep gaining back the five - ten pounds that I keep losing. I get down to 120 and then gain it all back because I can't control my eating. But I'm not going to eat it back. I'm going to use my healthy eating to my advantage. Every time I want something that tastes good, I'm going to have some spinach instead. I love spinach. My boyfriend and I ate a whole bag of spinach together like it was a bag of chips. Am I strange?

Ugh. My body isn't hungry but all food looks good. Even the thought of meat sounds delicious and I don't even eat meat! This morning, my boyfriend had scones for breakfast. You have no idea how hard it was to tell my body that it didn't need it. It didn't need the sugar, the fat, the grossness. "They're gross, they're bad for you, you don't like them," I told myself. Not to mention, he offered them three times and I had to remind myself of all those things each time he asked. Ugh. Food. I hate it, but I love it. I'm so addicted to it. Why does food have to rule my life?

Think thin, you'll be a size zero soon. :]