The problem with suffering with a binge eating disorder and anorexia is that you maintain your weight. It's very discouraging. And while you might say, "Maintain? That's great! You aren't gaining."
Wrong.
I feel so unhealthy. Like, I get random chest pains. My stomach always hurts. I feel nauseous just about every day unless I don't eat. I need to learn to eat regularly. Like my friend said today, in order for one problem to get better, I'll have to cancel out the other. Which means no more binging and no more restricting. My binging is probably a result of the fasting, which is why I'd have to stop fasting. But I'm so accustomed to fasting now that I just don't want to stop. I feel great when I do it; So little, with a flat stomach. Nothing else gives me the same feeling. And nothing else is as efficient. Healthy weight loss is so discouraging. I just can't seem to find motivation is losing half a fucking pound a week. Am I alone there? I just think that's so ridiculously slow. Maybe I just need to work out more, and harder.
God damn I just want to fast for days. Thanksgiving has made me feel disgustingly gluttonous. My boyfriend so badly doesn't want me to do it anymore. :\
Fuck.
Wrong.
I feel so unhealthy. Like, I get random chest pains. My stomach always hurts. I feel nauseous just about every day unless I don't eat. I need to learn to eat regularly. Like my friend said today, in order for one problem to get better, I'll have to cancel out the other. Which means no more binging and no more restricting. My binging is probably a result of the fasting, which is why I'd have to stop fasting. But I'm so accustomed to fasting now that I just don't want to stop. I feel great when I do it; So little, with a flat stomach. Nothing else gives me the same feeling. And nothing else is as efficient. Healthy weight loss is so discouraging. I just can't seem to find motivation is losing half a fucking pound a week. Am I alone there? I just think that's so ridiculously slow. Maybe I just need to work out more, and harder.
God damn I just want to fast for days. Thanksgiving has made me feel disgustingly gluttonous. My boyfriend so badly doesn't want me to do it anymore. :\
Fuck.
Weigh out the pros and cons. Infact, make one up
ReplyDeleteon here to see which kind of lifestyle with or
without an ED would work for you. If you see the
pros and cons on paper or just writing, maybe
you can see things clearly.
I must say, that even though I go along with
having MY eating disorder because I simply don't
want to be healthy enough.. well, I also
see that it is bad and that I deeply discourage
them in anybody else just because I've been like
this for 5-6 years now and it hurts everyday
knowing that everyday that passes by, it'll only
get harder and harder to ignore.
So think about that.
What I do now when talking with people with EDs,
is that I just support whatever choice they
make because really I can't make much of a
difference online sadly. But it's their
decision and hey, if they're happy with what
they are doing, that's okay.
*hugs*
No matter what, I support ya.